A STONE'S THROW IN ALL DIRECTIONS

How shall I admit my limitations?  Shall I catalogue the many flaws and addictions my spirit seems to battle?  

Battle?  Sometimes I feel free.  Sometimes I feel that in my flaws and addiction, I am truly human.  The words of an addict.  

It means nothing- the intelligence, divinity and capacity to be vulnerable and over come that vulnerability...  Addiction.  

I no longer question the who, where, how, what, why... am I...  I find myself lost and found.  To experience the divine,  I must perhaps fall.  If the divinity is within me, my plummet  will take me endlessly to and from my fellows and my deities.  I know nothing, and perhaps, I've got it all figured out. 

Time, humility, resurrection... will perhaps tell.  I am there and no where.  

I find that slowing down my thinking process to the pace of writing is sometimes very difficult. What’s more, seeing them displayed on a page arouses my impatient, perfectionist instinct. I want to correct the carefully chosen words. I feel the carefully chosen words give no justice to what it is I’m expressing. I want to say so much and so clearly in all the ways I know how. With the many ways to say them, with the ability, or skills and esteem that I have, I want to encompass barriers. I believe it is me fighting limitations, fighting to become universal, or one with the universe.

Aware Am I

I keep reading that to try to be aware or to try to be enlightened means that you aren't or won't. I understand this very well, I think. I have thought that in realizing that I know nothing, I know quite a lot. I mayhap even have figured it all out. Thus, I have introduced myself into electronically cataloguing this wonderment, tick tacking away at keys, for the moment, resting my free hand.